Sunday, 13 June 2010

Getting to know Jack

Here we are. Officially the count down to a long awaited trip to the US.

In 2 weeks Helen, Jack and I will be getting on a plane and traveling to Utah. This is the first time Jack will meet most of my family. Jack is very excited.

So, in light of the visit I'm making a guide to getting to know Jack.


TV Show: Ben10 - still, and they're making a new series as well...
Food: Ketchup. Puddings, desserts for those of you in America.
Treat: Lollipops.
Restaurant: McDonalds, chicken nuggets with a free toy.
Drink: Blackcurrent Fruit Shoot, the purple one.
Song: Tommy the Cat. This makes me so happy, you don't even know.
Band: The Gorillaz.
Game: Sackboy (LittleBigPlanet) on the PSP.
Movie: Scooby Doo 2, or as he calls is, Scooby and the Monsters.
Color: Green
Bedtime Story: Pooh is that you Bertie? (it's a book about farting...)


Loud noises.
Hand Dryers. Due to the loud noise they make.
Water on his face or hair.
Most dried fruits.

Speaking habits.

Jack's accent is somewhere between mine, Helen's and his Nanny's, usually it depends with whom he's spent the most time recently. Jack will tell you that he's an expert speaker but even so, he has a few speech habits that can be a little confusing.
V is often pronounced as B or W.
Sw is often Fw.
Very is pronounced Wervy

Listen out for Jack's excited voice, the big give away is the emphasizing eyes.


Pewmer. - Noun. A projectile weapon. He has called them since learning to talk.
-Verb - The sound a gun makes. Pewm! Pewm!

Intemnable. - Adjective. A synonym for invisible. He can say invisible I, think he just prefers intemnable.

Hiccamaccapoccamus: - Noun. A large fierce five-legged six-eyed creature with no nose but a big mouth full of teeth.

Doodle, Dooly or Doolydoo - Noun. The part of Jack's body used to wee-wee.
'To dab the doolydoo.'

Common Phrases:

'Yesterday' can mean up to three days ago.
'Tomorrow' means after Jack has been to sleep. This can be tricky because Jack sleeps with his eyes open...
'Last Week' means that whatever he is talking about happened earlier than yesterday.
'Next Week' adversely refers to something that it going to happen in the future, but later than tomorrow.

'Up in to the Sky' usually this is to where he punches monsters.

'All 'round the place' watch for the circling hands gesture.

'I used to be/have/live in/live near/drive/shoot/ one of those' Jack has lived many different lives.

You will occasionally hear Jack refer to 'his boys'. The context would be something like, 'I got one of those for my boys.' Jack's boys are a group of children that live on another planet, this planet is called Jack, and all the boys are called Jack Morrey... anyway they sound like a rough group.

Jack is prone to breaking out into song, more so when he doesn't think people are listening. Keep and ear out for these little songs, they're inspired. I've tried desperately to record one of these but haven't managed it yet.

If Jack is trying to get your attention longer than about ten seconds he will say, '(person's name) I need to talk to you.'

Jack is very righteous and will not hesitate to set you straight if you do something wrong, to avoid being told off here is a list of some of Jack's expectations.
  1. Always hold hands and look both ways when crossing the street.
  2. Don't wander off.
  3. Don't call people names, tease or otherwise do things that are not very nice.
  4. Don't play with your food at the dinner table.
  5. Don't take things from other people.
  6. No pounding.
  7. No dancing.
  8. No singing.
  9. Listen when you've been told something. Jack doesn't like to have to tell you something more than twice.
  10. Under no circumstances are you to forget to brush his teeth in the morning. Nanny got a grilling
It should be noted that these rules don't apply to Jack.

Jack is regularly possessed by a dog. Symptoms include; loss of speech, timidness, whimpering, panting, crawling on all fours and excessive exposure of the tongue. No treatment or exorcism is necessary as the condition usually resolves itself within an hour or so.


  1. Avalon had the same possession problem when she was a bit younger. The remaining symptoms are as follows: 1)She howls to let us know when she is done on the potty, and, 2)She shakes one of her legs quickly whenever she gets excited.

    Also, her sense of time and past lives all consist of, "When I was three..." Apparently everything that didn't happen in the past month, while she was in kindergarten, or ever (because she regularly makes things up entirely) happened when she was three years old.
    Avalon: "When I was three, one day you spanked me."
    Me: "Baby, I haven't ever spanked you in your life, even if I had a good reason. Why on Earth would I 'spank' you?"
    Avalon: "For no reason at all!"

    >.> Kind of defeats the purpose of having a no spanking outlook on parenthood and raising children when they manufacture completely false memories of you spanking them 'for no reason at all.' ROFL.

  2. Jack makes up stuff too, all kind of stuff, all the time.